Ron's Blog

Dear Hotel Manager,

I don’t ask for much. I don’t need an upgrade and I’m perfectly happy with a king, queen or even double bed. But lately, I’ve noticed some trends that I’d like to address them with you.

First, the bath towels should be stored, well, next to the bath tub. While, placing them under the sink is clever and makes good use of the space, the discovery of this storage solution usually occurs after my shower rather than before. Then, I’m left to manage with hand towels, washcloths or Kleenex. I’m not a large man but a a full box of Kleenex won’t get me completely dry. Please place at least one bath towel next to the tub/shower. And let me clarify that I said “next” to the shower and not “in” the shower.

Second, your alarm clocks are more complicated than a hybrid car. Simply put, the clock should have an alarm button with a choice of “off” and “on.”  That’s pretty much it. I don’t need the option of waking up to seven different genres of music, having several different alarms, connecting the clock to my iPhone. My iPhone has its own speakers and I can hear them just fine. By the way, the clue that this has become a problem is on the top of your alarm clock which is now completely covered with the instructions on how to use said alarm clock.

Third, and related to Item Two, there should be an electrical outlet next to the bed. Welcome to the 21st Century where everyone (and by everyone, I mean everyone) staying in your hotel is using a smart phone for an alarm clock. For one, it’s easier than using your alarm clocks (I refer to Item Two again) and for another, we need to charge our phones while we sleep. If you can’t afford to add an additional outlet, please place an extension cord in the drawer next to the Gideon Bible.

Fourth, please stop with the $19.95 daily charge for internet access. I don’t pay that much for an entire month of internet service at home. If a $79-per-night hotel can give me free internet and a free breakfast, the least you can do is provide free internet access. Perhaps, on the other hand, you are limiting my internet access because you know that I will tweet about your alarm clocks.

Lastly, I can turn my own sheet down. In fact, I typically don’t turn down my sheets until I’m ready to get under them. Feel free to relieve your housekeeping staff of this task each evening. Perhaps, instead, they could spend their time putting bath towels next to the tub.

I’ll probably be in your hotel sometime soon. I appreciate your attention to these items. And for what it’s worth, the cookies at Doubletree are to die for. Just saying.

Sincerely,

Ron Culberson, MSW, CSP
Frequent hotel sleeper

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