A recent Cornell University study found that on average people have two good friends – down from three in 1985. A “good friend” was defined as someone with whom you can discuss important matters.
In my new book called, naturally, Do it Well. Make it Fun. which will be out in May 2012, I wrote a chapter on friendship. It occurred to me, when I was about 30, that I didn’t have any really close male friends. While my wife is my best friend, it is also important to have same-sex friends so that you can, well, talk about your wife…among other things.
But here’s the thing. Friendships take focus and effort. You can’t expect a friendship to grow on it’s own. You need to nurture it just like any relationship.
I’ve had a couple of really close friendships that also served as accountability relationships. We got together to enjoy each other’s company but we also helped each other with the tricky things in life: Marriage, jobs, kids, etc.
Do you have a close friend in whom you can confide? If not, you should. Remember, James Taylor said, “You’ve got a friend”…somewhere.